#4 — Relationship Goals: Entanglement Edition with Jean

This week on the #NoVisuals Podcast, we talk about the idea of "Relationship Goals" and what is it truly NOT. At the fundamental level, relationships are about human connection but the true essence of relationships has been distorted and popularized by what we see in the media and through celebrity culture. Join Shanique and Jean as they delve into why some of those norms are so detrimental during this week's episode!

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Speaker 1 0:00

You are now listening to the no visuals podcast and unedited take on .

Speaker 2 0:09

Hi ,

Speaker 1 0:10

I'm Shanique and welcome back to the no visuals podcast, your weekly unedited take on life. Thank y'all so much for listening to last week's episode. I wanted to take a second and think Lisa again, for all of the gems that she shared on last week's episode, a lot of you guys looked up the black lives biz, a website. I just wanted to plug that again. I think it will be an excellent resource for us to have a condensed place where we can, you know, find black businesses and, you know, show support. If you have a black business as well, or if you know, a black business owner, please encourage them to put their website or put their business in the directory so that they can be found because knowledge is power. And when we have more awareness in the collective, we can show up and show support for all our , uh, black businesses that we have in our communities. And this is nationwide. So please share it. Black lives, biz.com. Um, another thing that I wanted to thank y'all for is for reviewing the podcast , uh, that helps so much, and I love hearing all the feedback. So in Apple podcasts, wherever you listen to podcasts, make sure you leave us a review, follow us on Instagram at no visual, his podcast and on Facebook. And thank you all so much for the continued support. So on this week we have y'alls favorite. I know you guys, miss Jean he's back and how are you doing Jean ? How are you?

Speaker 2 1:52

My I'm doing good. You know what I'm saying? Just did you miss us here? I did. I did. That's why, that's why I'm back.

Speaker 1 2:01

You're back for a really good episode too.

Speaker 2 2:04

I am. I got my opinion. So

Speaker 1 2:06

On this week's episode, y'all we could not let the week pass and not talk about the word of the rest of 2020 entanglement. Um, Oh man, where do you even start? Like, did you , alright , hold on. I want to start and say this. Did you watch the August interviews? And like , did you watch his ,

Speaker 2 2:31

How many interviews are there? Cause I only watch the one and it was like 12 minutes long. It was one , one hit where him and him and Jayda was like sitting down and they would just talk him out . And Jadah you mean what ? I say ? Him and Jadah .

Speaker 1 2:44

I was talking about August interviews.

Speaker 2 2:46

Oh no. I never watched them in August.

Speaker 1 2:48

No. So basically he has a new album out and he put out a docu series and then he had like an hour long interview with Angela

Speaker 2 2:57

And they were talking about the whole entanglement in the series.

Speaker 1 3:00

He was not talking about the entanglement. He was talking about like how his brother died, how his sister in law died, how he became caretaker for his three nieces, how he had like liver failure. Like this guy has been through it. Y'all

Speaker 2 3:13

Yeah. That's why his career honestly was on pause for a while to like get right with himself. So he came back and that's what saw he , is he, is he like fully healthy now? Cause I didn't, to be honest, I really didn't like look into it .

Speaker 1 3:25

Yeah. So I was watching him cause I'm like, this is like gut wrenching. Like this man has had a difficult life. Okay .

Speaker 2 3:32

Seraquill August two when he was like, yeah , remember that first. Supposedly he had like maybe like two albums out might be wrong.

Speaker 1 3:42

No, you were definitely like an August fan. And I was like, who is this guy? I put you on to his music. Yeah. I do like some of his songs, but like hearing his story is just like, wow, what a story? Like, Oh my God. And anyway, he had an interview with Angelie and they were talking about that's how the whole Jadah thing came to be like, he just addressed it and how they were involved. And basically just saying like give it like, just talking about it. So then everyone, you know, black Twitter, they took hold of it.

Speaker 2 4:17

I took it and ran with it, turned it into a whole comedy show.

Speaker 1 4:23

It was just like memes . Everyone had like their thoughts on it. And I was just like, Oh my gosh. And then F and then Jada got on. She was like, okay. I had to take myself to the red table talk. And , and from my opinion, I thought that she really didn't need to address anything. I think she did, in my opinion, this is why I say that though, because how August addressed it in the Angela II interview is that he already went through it. Like he was just like talking about his story. And that was just happened to be part of his story. I think Jadas kind of reaction was just like a save face type of thing. Like, damn he put this out there. So I can't not say anything. Like people are making their own opinions about it. So then she got on herring wheel with the 12 minute interview and I heard there was more, but I didn't watch anything else other than that 12 minutes, but that told minutes, Oh my God, someone on Twitter said, I feel like I need to wash my ears. I'll have to listen to the 12 minutes. It will. And Jadah , it wasn't that bad. It was, it was very awkward. And like, we'll just look like he was just done. Like,

Speaker 2 5:40

You look exhausted, man. And if you look back at it ,

Speaker 1 5:42

It looked like he was like, just, he just finished like a math, like child. Like I don't even know. Like he was just ,

Speaker 2 5:49

Nah , you can tell by his face and just like his emotion in the conversation, you can tell like, there's been, I wouldn't say trouble, but there's been some fed right there . There's there's obviously been something going on within that relationship, like throughout time. And then this was just like the little break family .

Speaker 1 6:09

No. So it was just like, here we go again

Speaker 2 6:11

And go again like this again.

Speaker 1 6:13

It's like now, but now they have this red table that he didn't even want anything to do with. And I was just like cracking up at like all the beams. Someone was like, when Jayla was saying entanglement and then someone was like, I beg it. Well ,

Speaker 2 6:35

Yo I can't. I see that word everywhere on my feed. Now

Speaker 1 6:38

I just can't

Speaker 2 6:40

Comments from the celebrities. You've seen that. No, I haven't. They actually like DM and will Smith.

Speaker 1 6:46

Oh, I did see that Michael Blackson that guy? His joke . Oh my gosh. But pay jokes. What that kind of conversation brought into my awareness is the need for us to really have a conversation on relationships. Right? Because you always see, Oh, like J Cole and his song like that will and J the love, but you ain't know what was going on. Fucks and then you don't even know, man. And then like, you don't know what's going on. And then you also have like different churches, like relationship goals, like reloaded relationship with webinars, seminars, conferences, you know exactly. I think conversation. Yup. And I think what that stems from is just people's desire to be in community or in communion with other people. I don't think it's always just strictly obviously we, society feticizit is the romantic aspect of it. But I think what happens is we weren't taught how to be in relationship at a basic human level. So there for when you get to now the more intimate or like romantic relationships, things just go haywire because we just never got the fundamentals down. And that's what I wanted this episode to kind of take no worries. I asked what I wanted to delve into in this episode is, okay, how do we do the healing? How do we talk to our inner child and do that healing? Because until we do that healing, anytime that we try to get into a relationship with anybody, especially someone in a romantic relationship or a more intimate relationship, you're going to run into an entanglement. And she used the right word y'all because entanglement just looks like a spiderweb in my vision. It just looks messy. It looks complicated. It looks like if you walk into what going to be slapping your face, like damn, I'm in an entanglement. So I just want to start there and give that preface of how we are approaching this relationship goals. Talk where I wanted to get started with this conversation is what relationship goals is not. Okay. Because I think we need to start there, go through the layers a little bit. Talk about that. You give us your opinion and then we'll just kind of move like that. Okay . Go ahead . So relationship goals is not dreaded work.

Speaker 2 9:32

Okay. Explain what that is, what you mean by that. Okay.

Speaker 1 9:34

Okay. So we saw the look of a peer exhaustion on my man will Smith's face. Okay.

Speaker 2 9:42

From, from time man , like even dealing with honestly, it's frustration, like built up from the whole POC situation. Cause believe it or not, he can make it seem like I don't care what anyone says. Like as much as you can act like it don't bother you. It was bothering him to me. It just seems like maybe it wasn't. But

Speaker 1 10:02

The lesson there is when you don't really get to the root of what it is, anything can easily trigger a reaction such as that. Like you can see it in his eyes. His eyes just looked like they had just been through it. Like, like he hadn't slept in four days. Like he just looked exhausted. So one thing to think about and observe is if a relationship has become draining, you need to really reevaluate. And that's across the board. If relationship is one sided and you're just drained from it, like energetically, how can you then show up for yourself?

Speaker 2 10:43

That's good. Just being so drained

Speaker 1 10:47

When this happens, you can no longer show up authentically because you've moved into a state of self preservation. You're just now in survival mode. You're not showing up as your best self, trying to cause relationships a two way street . Right?

Speaker 2 11:06

I think especially like pointing back to the whole will Smith and Jada conversation. It's like, I think it starts with healing with yourself first, before you get back into whatever relationship you guys had. Because clearly, I mean, again, we don't really understand, like

Speaker 1 11:26

I can only pull the lessons from everything, right? We don't know what the ins and outs are. We can only just pull the philosophical or whatever, theoretical points from these situations just by observing. So you're like physically drained. It's like, you're almost anticipating the next bad thing that will happen

Speaker 2 11:45

Facts. But that only happens when you don't fully heal from whatever you went through in your past. You know what I mean? When you, when you come healing, I think now you can come into the relationship with like an open heart and willing to like,

Speaker 1 12:00

I hear what you're trying to say. It's not like I forgive and forget type of thing. Because as humans you are whole thing is memory. You're not going to forget, but you can forgive. And then, okay, the actions down the road dictate what

Speaker 2 12:16

You F you can forgive and forget. But at the same time, it's like what? You said, certain things trigger like emotions again, put you right back into love, no matter how much, right. You could have did so much healing and self work for yourself. But at the same time, your partner should understand that as well. And, and, and like kind of dictate their actions around that.

Speaker 1 12:40

Another thing that they said was like, Oh, this was like so long ago. This was like four years ago. Whereas like Jada , she, I don't know. She was just trying to like, like tap dance around what was going on. And like, what was just like really exhausted. But it was like healing for everyone. Isn't always linear. So like, though you may already be whatever over a situation, you can't expect someone else to be like, completely. Like, this is just done and dusted. I wipe my hands on this. You can bring that up to me anymore. So

Speaker 2 13:14

That's very true. That's a good one. Right ?

Speaker 1 13:17

The next point is relationship goals is not manipulative. And what I mean by that is you cannot take the emotional aspect that someone has let you in to their, their space. And you cannot kind of take advantage of someone's emotional state and manipulate that and make it sort of, you know,

Speaker 2 13:49

You think that was, you think that was the case with , um , Jada in , in August.

Speaker 1 13:56

Like it was a little manipulative, in my opinion, it seems like he was extremely sick. Again. I don't know the ins and outs, but just in a general way , uh , just generally speaking, you can't

Speaker 2 14:11

How did, how did, how was she manipulating him? Because he was sick.

Speaker 1 14:16

The guy was, he was basically dying.

Speaker 2 14:19

Okay. But how does she manipulate him though ?

Speaker 1 14:21

It's like an emotional manipulation because now someone is forming they're in a state where they're completely sick. You're helping them. You took them in.

Speaker 2 14:30

No , if she's manipulating them , she wasn't helping. She was taking advantage of that .

Speaker 1 14:35

Isn't taking advantage, being manipulative. Isn't that like two sides of the same coin. It is. So she can do either, or this, this thing that we call life, you can't take advantage of people either.

Speaker 2 14:48

So did August then August like that within his interview, within the conversation he had. Oh, was he kind of getting at that based on like the energy he was,

Speaker 1 14:59

He talked too much about it, but she brought that into the awareness that we took him in when he was sick. Okay. But it's not even just in a situation like that, but I'm just saying in general, you can't manipulate people. They manipulate or they take advantage of your emotional wanting of relationship. And they profit off of that. They make it mainstream. They put it on a tee shirt. A lot of these religions, we trust these. This is a trusted relationship. Now you are my mentor. You are my teacher essentially. And you're manipulating me. Right? Because now your intentions are not pure. So in any relationship you cannot be manipulative.

Speaker 2 15:46

Like, I'm pretty sure on most of our social platforms, you see whether it's like somebody who has a large platform and they're not really like a relationship coach, which you see them putting out a course on relationships. That's

Speaker 1 16:02

And it'd be loaded on relationship or your any, that's what I'm saying, like doing something to monetize it . And that's why I'm saying like, this whole relationship goals idea is just like, are just like so pimped out on the idea of a romantic thing, but we're escaping every other segment of it. Because if you look at life, every single part of life is a relationship. And a lot of places in those relationships, people are manipulated. You see all, all the time, like this is just literally has nothing to do with romantic relationship right now. But when the Corona virus first happened, people had done their taxes through like a cash advance thing. So basically they got their money on their tax return prior to actually fi or actually getting the return from the federal government. And what happened is the companies that they did their taxes through had their stimulus checks. So that's $1,200 that these who usually poor or working class families don't have access to because it's held up at some tax advent, advanced or Western union, whatever the case is, that's a manipulative relationship. I now have you as my trusted advisor, but you took advantage of me. You didn't tell me what was happening. And now the coronavirus happened. I lost my job. I have whatever kids, whatever, whatever the situation is, you were manipulated to believing that the services that you were getting is , is not what it was. Right. So you see how, like, this can really like seep into every single little thing, but we're caught up on the Jadah and , and whatever, because we're going to get into another point where, you know, let's get into it. Now, relationships should not be ideal.

Speaker 2 17:55

They are though. Cause , uh , especially because of social social platforms, that's what it is. And celebrity, celebrity coaches. That's what it is.

Speaker 1 18:05

You know, bringing it back

Speaker 2 18:07

Sad. That's honestly sad. Cause I see that that's very detrimental to relationship if you asked me, because once you start to like idolize a celebrity relationship and expect your , you kind of put like you put unreasonable expectations on your partner based on what you see or a celebrity doing art or giving to their specific, significant other, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 18:34

So like literally like putting it in songs, like, yeah .

Speaker 2 18:37

It's not even that, like you see in shows, you know , some people see it in tweets and it's like, or means if you're , if you're girly doing this, then yeah . Leave her alone. If your girl ain't doing this, then leave her alone. It's like, what do you mean?

Speaker 1 18:53

But that, that literally takes out the responsibility of self because what are you doing? But it's another thing where it's like, I am giving and then I'm not receiving sometimes if we're come , like , if we're honest, where we're neglected in some areas where we could do a little bit better. So like those memes, why do they apply to you now? Why are you taking that? And you're writing with it

Speaker 2 19:25

Because everybody looks, everyone looks up to what they see on social media. That's just what it is. I know it's sad.

Speaker 1 19:33

It's like what it is , you know what I mean ? I don't even know how to unlearn, like, huh?

Speaker 2 19:37

People need to anatomy . I feel like people go to social media, not the media is like the standard. They think they're not getting advice or basing like, just like, I don't know , like it happens in your subconscious,

Speaker 1 19:55

Subconscious , but we think that we're stronger than our subconscious mind when you're so conscious mind, everything goes through the subconscious mind before it goes through consciously. So most of the decisions you're making are from your subconscious mind and social media is like hypnotic almost. Cause you're just scrolling right? When you're in a hypnotic state or you're that's when your subconscious is most receptive to receiving information, you can't, you can't look at, especially like around holidays. I see this happening a lot around holidays, like around Christmas or people's birthdays Valentine's days are really big one. Like people will take heart of that and be like, this is, I'm not getting this. Or this is like, I've seen that happen.

Speaker 2 20:41

I put an unreasonable expectations on your significant other taste on whatever your relationship. Yeah .

Speaker 1 20:48

It looks like, and you have to take inventory of where your relationship is at that space .

Speaker 2 20:53

Exactly. Cause if, if that's exactly what it is,

Speaker 1 20:57

Like you have to like grow with, go through the phases almost right . You can't rush steps. You can't skip steps and social media,

Speaker 2 21:07

Social media try and fast forward to everything.

Speaker 1 21:09

Yeah. You expect to skip steps. Yeah . That's really good. And it's really like, you don't even know sometimes you don't even know what you make an idol of. Like, that's just how it happens is dangerous. Relationships cannot be successful if we dance around our own shadow work and I'm going to break down. Cause you're looking at me like, what is she talking about? So basically you go to , um, the red table talk, the red table talk is supposed to be this profound place where you come and you just like are speaking on your healing, like Jadah is super woke. And in my opinion, again, this is all opinion based. This is not right . This is not doctrine. So

Speaker 2 21:58

Go ahead, Todd .

Speaker 1 22:00

When you use healing language dangerously, I think that's more detrimental to a relationship then actually not taking ownership. Like if you like are saying we've done the healing, but you're just using words. You like using words that kind of dance around the subject, like entanglement, because that is literally, you're trying to dance around the word

Speaker 2 22:30

And , and that's exactly what is you're dancing around it. Cause we'll was looking for an explanation on that. He asked, what does that mean? It's like, what's an entanglement. She's like, he's like, no, what he said was he's like a relationship she's like, right . He's like, yeah. And she's like, yeah, it was a relationship.

Speaker 1 22:47

And the biggest thing that you can do to just maintain transparency and honesty is to call a thing, a thing like you can't when you're dealing with someone else, you have to remember that people are not mind readers and then no one can see what's going on in your head.

Speaker 2 23:03

And that's why he got to explain what shadow working and all that stuff is .

Speaker 1 23:06

I don't know . Work is basically saying, you're looking at the shadow work is essentially you looking at the parts of you that you haven't healed. Okay. That's really important when you're in a relationship with someone else. Because when you can kind of see how certain negative behaviors manifest themselves, because you haven't done your work. Right. And a lot of the times we have to heal from things again that we, that happened to us subconsciously or through learned behavior, family patterns, whatever the case is, you have to look at how you can that before fully showing up for someone

Speaker 2 23:50

Damn. That's honestly that if, if individuals really took that into consideration, your love and relationship life will be prolonged. Absolutely. It would be prolonged entirely because when most, honestly, most relationships are kind of like learned on the go, you learn on the go, you learn really do learn on the go.

Speaker 1 24:12

And because we didn't have the words or the lessons to do our healing work prior to say meeting somebody or just like going out into the world.

Speaker 2 24:24

But then again, that's kind of natural too though, because when you're in a relationship, I believe that your significant other, like your partner serves as a mirror to yourself. So there's certain things that you didn't know about yourself prior to being in this relationship. And I always, so it's not, not for the week , right?

Speaker 1 24:42

If you're not ready to see those things

Speaker 2 24:44

And a lot of people aren't, and that's why relationships, people fight a lot. You find like two month, three month , one, I mean, not wrong with that, but yeah .

Speaker 1 24:54

Yeah. But the thing is, if you're not ready for that kind of brutal honesty, because sometimes it really is brutal honesty. Then just that's. When you go into a studio ,

Speaker 2 25:05

The shadow working as you call it,

Speaker 1 25:07

Go, you have to do your shadow work. You have to have a season of self discovery. That's big . That's the biggest part,

Speaker 2 25:14

Women and men, women, and men can do shadow working. You know what I'm saying? I feel like to be honest with you, when you actually like probably dive into the meaning , most people would probably think that's a feminine thing. No , I'm pretty sure everyone has a shadow. Everyone. Everyone is like

Speaker 1 25:34

Apart , that's a view that's that you don't necessarily always see our ego will tell us that we're the best person ever, that we can do no wrong

Speaker 2 25:43

Masculinity. Kind of the ego always speaks. You know what I'm saying? So it's like most people, most people don't honestly speaking. Most, most men can't reflect on like themselves and what they did wrong.

Speaker 1 25:57

That actually makes me pretty sad.

Speaker 2 26:00

It is sad. It's the up . But it's , it's like what you said, it's the upbringing. I feel like society kind of like masculinity is not really something where you, cause when you honestly like take a few steps back and say, I need to work on myself. Yeah. Would you say is healthy to do that by yourself? Or do you kind of need somebody else to have that conversation with, because if you do need that you can, but if you do need somebody to come get a therapist, how much, how much men, how much men do, you know, are going to be like, you know what? I need to have this conversation with a therapist or a friend of mine's and talk about all my problems. Most guys ain't doing that.

Speaker 1 26:45

But then you see, look at our society, go look outside that you can, that is evident that people don't want to do that. It is, that is literally

Speaker 2 26:54

Scale . Anything for men. It is.

Speaker 1 26:56

That's where you just have to like lay, lay your burdens down, says the Lord, you just have to just, just, just try to figure it out. You know, you can't, you can't , um, push your way through that. You can't fight because literally at every point in let you turn, it will show up wherever

Speaker 2 27:15

Facts. Not only in your like significant, like love relationship shows up in your friendships at work relationships, whatever it may be. I'm not sure .

Speaker 1 27:26

Yeah. And I'm telling you that when, especially when you're in a relationship with a significant other, that will teach you the most, that you need to know about a friendship or in how you should navigate a friend ,

Speaker 2 27:40

Depending on how real that relationship is or how much you value or even give that person yet , like the open space to even bring that conversation about. Because again, most people would probably be like, I don't need to hear that from you. Like, what are you even talking about? And to me, like you just seen your feelings.

Speaker 1 27:59

I will, I like cherish my relationships that I have in my life so much. And I will give things for them because literally in my relationship with my significant other and my relationship with my friends, I feel like I can show up as me authentically. And I just have that nurturing environment. I have an environment that lets me be honest. I have an environment that lets me break down. Like there's no hiding here. I don't think you can do relationships healthily. If you're hiding until you're ready to come out of hiding, leave people alone, do not bring other people into your chaos. That is the most selfless thing that you can do. If you know that you're not ready, leave people

Speaker 2 28:49

Facts. I hear that. It's true. Probably not going to happen 90% of the time, but I'm putting it in . I mean, it's very true. Okay .

Speaker 1 28:58

Putting it out into the consciousness, take it. What ? Take what you want and leave what you don't right. The next thing that I want to say, relationships need to be wary of spell work with the way we speak, because there is power of life and death in the tongue.

Speaker 2 29:15

What you speak, you're going to manifest it.

Speaker 1 29:17

When I heard them say bad marriage for life and they gave each other the pound gene , would you see that in the interview? They said, ride together died together. Bad marriage for life.

Speaker 2 29:32

Well , hold on, hold on. And what is the August interview or will Smith wife, bad life relationship, bad marriage for life. That's not good when I said that's not good.

Speaker 1 29:44

I haven't seen that, that show or that give that you just melt into the chair. Right ? I was just like, Lord, this is not it. But listen, y'all your words. The power of life and death is in the tongue.

Speaker 2 30:00

You know, what's so crazy to most people. We're still looking at that conversation. I mean it, to be honest, it wasn't mature conversation, right ? It was, they came out as a

Speaker 1 30:11

It's honest, they had to do it in front of the world. Most people do that conversation in the comfort of their own home,

Speaker 2 30:16

But I'm pretty sure most people would probably look at it and say like, this is goals. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 30:24

You know, I think like

Speaker 2 30:26

Right, that , that ride or die little thing that you just said, people will say

Speaker 1 30:30

That part hit me. And my chest half of the conversation is goals because you need to speak it.

Speaker 2 30:36

Having a conversation is definitely goes because a lot of people take it . It can take a lot to even get to that point. Yeah. You can't ice skate past those things, but

Speaker 1 30:46

Pounding on bad marriage for life. Like some sort of an agreement.

Speaker 2 30:50

I hope that was just for comedy.

Speaker 1 30:53

Jean . It seems like that's , they're saying like, you know how we have a handshake that seemed like they handshake

Speaker 2 31:00

Bad marriage for life willing . What was just saying that, listen to me, you don't want that.

Speaker 1 31:08

This, this is like a really important lesson that I've learned. Yeah .

Speaker 2 31:12

What you say I can already know. She can say what you speak. Yeah .

Speaker 1 31:14

What you speak is what becomes, listen, listen, take five minutes. Every day. This has been, come become incredibly important for me. Take five minutes every day and just meditate at first and just quiet your mind. At first, you're going to have thoughts running in your mind. You're not going to be able to shut up and you're going to get frustrated with yourself because your mind won't turn off. The important lesson in that is start categorizing your thoughts. Okay? Categorize the negative self talk that you have categorized the positive self talk that you have categorize your worries, categorize what you're anxious about. Put them on to categories. What you'll notice is that you keep thinking about the same 10 things. Okay? All right . Now, open your eyes, go into the world and see how those things have manifested the same 10 thoughts that you think over and over and over again is what is playing out in your reality. So have to change how you , you talk to yourself, right ? That's when affirmations come into play, that's when prayer comes into play, that's when communicating with your partners and your friends come into play because your friends whoever's in your life can help you on learn those negative things that you're talking to your , to yourself, about what first has to happen. You have to take a mental inventory of them and see how they played out. In your reality. Again, it all comes back to self, right? No one else is in charge of your healing set for you. So, man, we got to continue this conversation because we talked about what relationship goals is not. Okay.

Speaker 2 33:00

We got to , do you want to talk about what relationship goes? Isn't it

Speaker 1 33:03

You're going to have to tune into the next episode for that. Okay.

Speaker 2 33:06

No, this was good. You was, you was, he was talking. I learned something today.

Speaker 1 33:11

Oh, thanks.

Speaker 2 33:14

This was actually good. This was good. You know, I see what that reading comes from now.

Speaker 1 33:20

Listen, man, I just be in shock at the things that we let happen to our minds, the mind is so bad .

Speaker 2 33:29

It's powerful. It can cripple you if you let it and it can be your best tool.

Speaker 1 33:34

You have to get quiet with yourself. When you heal yourself, you heal everybody else. That is that's the key here. You cannot. I mean, it's broken people, break people, you know?

Speaker 2 33:48

Mm . Cause they weight broken. People stay away from me, man.

Speaker 1 33:51

Yeah. But get the vision of a tornado when you

Speaker 2 33:54

Get yourself, right? Like you said, get yourself right first before even trying, leave me alone. That's what it is. People leave people alone.

Speaker 1 34:02

I just stop it. Some people are ,

Speaker 2 34:05

I mean, it's toxic . If you really trying to work on yourself, then I shouldn't say leave me alone. Because people, people can reach out to people. You need people to reach out to. And in order to heal sometimes. So I wouldn't say leave me alone entirely. But if you really not trying to like work on yourself and , and, and do that healing and come to the realization that you're toxic, just keep your distance, bro. Social distancing.

Speaker 1 34:31

And another boy that I would like to add is that as humans we need community, we can't do life alone. I think life alone would look extremely scary.

Speaker 2 34:43

Big facts. Yup . In the same breath,

Speaker 1 34:49

If you're committed to community and you're committed to doing life with someone else, you have to take accountability and you have to take ownership for how you may play out in someone else's memories. We just need people. That's how humans are. I think if anything, quarantine has taught us that. So don't alienate yourself from relationship, but show up and show up authentically in relationships. I think that's the key. Yeah .

Speaker 2 35:17

It helps everybody. When you're authentic with yourself, just be real.

Speaker 1 35:21

Yeah. Commit to evolving. Like people change.

Speaker 2 35:25

People change better . Be a healthy change.

Speaker 1 35:28

Goals is not like stifling someone like you. I met you this way two years ago. You need to be the exact same way. You

Speaker 2 35:38

No, that's, there's no growth in that. That's scary. There's no growth in that. Cause with growth, you're going, you're probably going to change drastically for the better for yourself. And honestly, if you have a partner, who's speaking that language, who's saying, nah, I'm not okay with that. Essentially. They're just saying, they're not okay with you growing because when you grow, you're going to change. That's just ,

Speaker 3 35:58

That's just nature. So we're going to continue this conversation next week on what relationship goals is. Thank you all for listening. Make sure you leave us a comment on what you thought of this week's episode and until next Tuesday, please. Thank you for listening to the no visuals podcast. Don't forget to rate this podcast and leave us a comment on what you thought of this week's episode. Also be sure to subscribe to the no visuals podcast for a weekly unedited take on life wherever you listen to podcasts until next Tuesday. Peace.